Thursday, January 26, 2012

baby makes 4

So I had hoped to make more entries by this point, but wow 2 dogs, a 3 year old, a hubby, and a newborn makes for one tired momma.

Kelci Ann is now a week old and she is absolutely the perfect addition to our family. Aubrey, the proud big sister, is such a joy to watch as she tries to help me with everything. I couldn't be happier at this point with our family.

The adoption process is going to be a long expensive one, at this point we are looking at about 6 months and $3500 to get this finalized, but we do have a few hoops to jump through. First of the many being that we may not have been married long enough to be able to legally adopt her. I'm not much on talking about politics and laws, but this is one instance where I feel like the government doesn't have a place sticking their noses. Who's to judge how and when we create a family? They don't know our history or where we have come to be in this place in our lives. So point being, if they decide we have not been married long enough we will get temporary custody until we have been deemed married the appropriate time.

Another hoop....the home study. Now I knew we would be facing a home study, however I didn't realize how expensive it would be with us doing a private adoption. The town we are currently living in doesn't seem to have a private home study advisor so we are going to have to hire an out of town lady who will be charging us travel I'm sure on top of her $500 fee.

I have complained to my husband night after night about all the fee's and money we are going to put into this, then I sit back and look into our new daughters eyes and realize, it could cost 5X's this much and I would still do it. No amount of money will ever deter me from taking care of this beautiful child. She is absolutely amazing and I love her with all my heart. Aubrey and Kelci make me feel like I have won the lottery, these girls are amazing! And even when its 3am and Aubrey has had an accident in her bed and Kelci thinks its party time I can't stop smiling about how absolutely blessed we are.

Kelci's birth mother and father will never understand exactly how much they have blessed our family. And I don't feel like any amount of thanks I give them will ever be enough. I can't honestly imagine the hard choices they had to make to allow us to have this blessing, and I hope that they can be put at some sort of ease but knowing just how much love we have for this beautiful child. Now that she is here I just can't imagine our lives without her.

Love be with all of you that have taken time to keep up with my blog at this point, I appreciate your silent support in our journey. God bless you all!

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Happy Birthday!

What a day! We got to go home about midnight last night after they decided to hold off on everything so my in law could rest before the big event ahead of us. We were told to head back in at 5am when they would start the pitocin. We got there a little after 5 and things were started nicely, pitocin at a 6, contractions getting stronger, and my sister in law still doing well. About half an hour into it they bumped us up to an 8 and oh how things quickly changed. In a matter of what seemed like minutes we went from 4cm dilated to 7 and my poor SIL was in so much pain....after a lot of twisting, moaning, and one of the loudest screams I've ever heard (pretty sure it would scare off most banshees) at 7:53am I got the first glimpse at the beautiful gift we had been waiting for. Kelci came out with a set of lungs and arms swinging as much as her sweet little 6lb 5oz body could produce.

It has been the fastest day of my life, sitting here now its 6:55 and I feel like time is already slipping away. I have a 3 year old, I know how this works. Sweet chubby cheeks, those first diaper changes, then BAM....a running screaming tiny teenager in old navy's Halloween line of panties in December (story for another day) I hope I can remember to hold on to every sweet little precious moment, take way to many pictures, and just be alright if the laundry has to over flow into the garage just one day while I do nothing but lay around and be lazy with my girls.

Tomorrow starts the first real step into the adoption process we will be taking, (unless reading every article on adoption available online counts as a step) my SIL will be released from the hospital to make her journey back home, an hour away, and we will be given the rights to stay here and bunk into our own room with our sweet baby girl until she is released...It feels like the first official moment that says we are her parents, we get to stay, load her into the car seat looking all awkward cause she is way to small to every look normal in it at this point, and take her our home!

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

And here we go...

Tonight starts the first real day of our journey. At 6PM we are going in with my sister-in-law for her induction. This 41 week journey is coming to an end and within 24 hours I will have my new sweet baby girl in my arms.

This is an emotional journey to say the least, and as emotional as it is for me it's difficult and emotional for all of us involved. I can't imagine what is going through everyone elses heads, I keep wondering whats going through my husbands mind, everyone is so quiet right now. I'm running a million miles a minute at this point. Frantically worrying about every detail that I don't have in place and worried about her having to ride in an orange car seat (cause I should have bout a cover weeks ago for it) and that we didn't get a swing much stuff that honestly we didn't need anyways, but suddenly they seem like huge details that I have  missed.

It's not like I haven't been through all of this before, but Aubrey is 3 now and things have changed in that short period of time....for one I have obviously completely forgotten how to take care of a newborn! It's honestly a completely different trip this time down the road since we didn't have 9 months to plan, and this is hubby's first time in this situation since he came in to Aubrey's life when she was already walking and talking (well almost talking, it more so sounded like growling and babbling) so he doesn't know what newborns do or don't need. Which is no help for this mama that thinks her girls need every device ever created for them.

Breathe in....1....2.....3....breathe out, I have to take small moments to regather myself and calm back down. We are having a baby, not planning a mission to mars (which might be more exciting to hubby) so why am I so stressed about this? I can't wait to look into her beautiful eyes, hold her tiny hands, and rub her tiny feet. I just know that moment will calm me right back down.

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

One step at a time

There I was sitting in the floor of the book store wondering why I couldn't find anything that explained what I was going through, they had books on international adoption, how to pass a home study, an idiots guide to adoption, etc., but nothing on how to explain why your daughters cousin is going to have the same sister as her. Was this an unheard of topic?? I'm sure we aren't the first people in this situation, I just want to answer questions that my daughter is asking with grace and intelligence, instead I'm stumbling over the words and trying to explain that Daddy's sister is giving Kelci to us because we can provide the best family life for her. Instead of continuing my journey to find a book that helped me explain what I was trying to say I got up, composed myself, put the books away, and came home to start a blog. Hopefully by telling my story maybe just maybe I can help someone else out there at some point in their journey.

I'm going to apologize now for grammar mistakes, misspellings, slang, and punctuation errors. I think I may have pulled a low B high C in my English classes. This topic is important to me though so I'm going to put it out there with every mistake and all.

By the way, I'm Samantha, and in less than 48 hours I will be a new mommy again! My husband and I have a beautiful 3 year old daughter, and we are being blessed with a new daughter by his sister. Kelci is going to be the perfect addition to our family and we have everything (okay almost everything) ready for her arrival! On top of having NO clue about adoption or where we were suppose to start with it, we just learned that we would be adopting our wonderful baby girl about 2 months ago so in a matter of less than 8 weeks we have put together a beautiful nursery for our baby girl! I will give my hubby the credit on that because when I fell to emotional pieces about the whole thing he always picked me up and kept me moving forward.

We haven't started the paper work, we haven't had a home study, we haven't even worked out an adoption plan, we just know that we are having a baby and we have a place for her to rest her head and lots of love to give her....and that's where we will begin!